Real Mom
by Junebugsm
Summary: Maybe Stef and Lena didn't give birth to Jude; maybe they weren't in his life from the time he was born; maybe they don't always do what he wants but they are his moms and Callie makes sure that he knows it.
1. Chapter 1

**Maybe Stef and Lena didn't give birth to Jude; maybe they weren't in his life from the time he was born; maybe they don't always do what he wants but they are his moms and Callie makes sure that he knows it.**

(Four part story based on the Promo for Makeover (517) where Stef and Lena confront Jude about his new job.)

* * *

"Do you have any idea who could be watching these live streams Jude?" Stef asked in disbelief. Thanks to Jesus raving about how he passed a level in some game or the other Stef decided to check out her youngest son's latest endeavor but she was definitely not proud or pleased with what she saw."

"People who like games, or…" Jude shrugged. He couldn't see what the big deal was.

"Talking about hitting it and asking what your favorite position is is not funny, it's an invitation for online predators." Stef warned sternly with a reprimanding look.

"I… i… it's not real." Jude tried to defend. "We just gotta… play it up."

"Well, you're not doing it anymore." Stef ordered flatly. She was not at all happy with the things her son was saying and she wasn't willing to let it go even a step further.

"That's not fair." Jude argued angrily. "You can't just take it away. It's a job, I'm making money."

"Yeah, well so are the girls that I pull of the streets everyday." Stef retorted sharply.

"Stef." Lena chastised. She did agree with Stef on all counts but she didn't think that Jude making a few jokes while playing a video game equated teenage girls selling themselves on the streets.

"I'm doing nothing like that." Jude replied angrily. Nothing he was doing was illegal, secretive or even direct. Even their jokes were kept between him and Declan. It wasn't like they were asking their viewers these types of personal questions. It wasn't even part of the game, it was just to add humor to the conversation, especially during parts where nothing major happened on screen.

"You settle down." Stef said warningly, not liking his tone of voice.

"You settle down." Jude said, his own temper rising for he believed that his mother was being more than irrational about the entire thing.

Stef gave Jude a reprimanding look. "You better watch it young man." She warned. "You're on very thin ice."

"You're only fourteen years old, Jude." Lena added. She didn't think that they would get anywhere if it ended up becoming a contest between Stef and Jude.

"You promised nothing like this would ever happen after the gay app incident." Stef reminded him. She recalled how afraid Jude admitted to being and how relieved he'd felt when he was out of that man's house so she couldn't imagine why he'd put himself in a position like that again.

"It's not the same thing." Jude argued again. "We don't meet any of these people, we don't even discuss this stuff with them. It's not like it's some sex site. It's just some teasing between me and Declan."

The back door opened and Callie and Mariana walked in - sticky, sweaty and teasing each other, but laughing none the less, about how Mariana needed to practice running in order to keep up with Logan who she was still trying to impress. Callie agreed to go along to help motivate Mariana but she swore that it wasn't going to become a regular thing. The two were still panting exhausted and headed straight for the water that they didn't realize that their moms' and Jude were having more than just a general discussion.

"It's still dangerous." Stef responded. "You may not mean it but the people watching it get ideas and they attack."

"It's no more dangerous than your job." Jude continued to argue, determined to hold on to this job as hard as he could. Not only was he earning his own money but he was having fun and he was actually good at something for a change. From the day he entered this family he was the youngest kid with four older siblings that were all talented at something or the other - everyone always raved about Callie's photography and drawings, Mariana had her dancing and then the robotics team and now derby and Jesus got a full scholarship for wrestling and he was good at pretty much any sport he tried and Brandon was just overflowing with musical talents but Jude never had anything until now. "This is my job; it's part of being a G-A-Y-mer." He emphasized. "There has to be something gay to it and it's not like we discuss things we do or like, we're just teasing each other."

"On the internet." Stef finished what Jude didn't consider. "We aren't talking about you teasing each other in school, we are talking about a place where anybody and everybody can watch and listen and possibly harm you as well and that is not a risk I'm willing to let you take."

By now Callie and Mariana had picked up the gist of the conversation and were listening intently. For one, they were both too tired and still panting from their run but apart from that they were also inquisitive about what would happen. Jude had evolved a lot since he'd first come to live with them - he was bolder, braver and a lot more confident of himself but even he had never talked back to Stef so boldly before.

"You go out there every day with the risk of something happening to you." Jude pointed out, actually pointing at Stef. "That's your job and no one stops you."

"You are a child." Stef said angrily. She was more than done arguing about this but Jude just kept on pushing. "This is not an acceptable job for you and it stops now. That's it."

"You can't do that." Jude argued. "You don't have the right."

"Oh yes I do." Stef stated through gritted teeth. She was well and truly reaching the end of her tether and Jude was still pushing.

"No, you don't." Jude shot back. "You're not even my real mother." He said without really thinking; his anger taking over.

Stef was just about to say something as was Lena but before either of them could even open their mouths a very angry, very determined Callie walked passed them and slapped her brother hard across the cheek even though he was now quite a bit taller than she was.

"WHAT THE FUCK CALLIE!" Jude yelled with a frown as his left hand covered his stinging cheek. "What the hell is your problem?"

But Callie's eyes were filled with a fiery rage and nothing was going to calm her down. "Don't ever say that." Callie said, gritting her teeth in anger. "Don't you ever even _think_ it." She warned.

Stef and Lena were both right next to the two children, trying to calm them both down but neither of them could even hear a word they were saying for they were both more than angry. Mariana was now also standing up and watching but she was also nervous for she'd never seen Callie so angry or violent for that matter.

"They are your moms and you are damn lucky to have them." Callie continued, pointing in Stef and Lena's general direction. "We were _nothing_ Jude; after mom died we meant nothing to anyone but Stef and Lena took us in and loved us anyway and they saved us from hell so don't you ever say that they aren't your moms because there is no one alive who will _ever_ do more for you than them."

Colleen was dead; Donald didn't even bother to come looking for them when he got out of prison and Robert, of course, wasn't Jude's father. Yes, he would have taken Jude in along with Callie if he had known about them but it would only have been because of Callie. Callie was all that Jude had ever had since he was six years old and now that there were other people to love him he was taking them for granted. It was the first time she'd ever admitted that she had, in fact, taken a back seat in Jude's life. She had long since stopped trying to parent him; let go of worrying about him constantly and accepted that the two older women would, not only do everything in their power to keep him safe but probably also do a better job of it than she had.

"Callie, honey, stop." Lena said, trying to get the younger girl to take a step or two away from her brother who was still holding his now red cheek but had calmed down considerably after his sister made him realize just what his words truly meant.

"No." Callie continued, shrugging out of Lena's grasp.

Stef suggested that Lena give them some space. As long as no one was getting violent then this possibly could turn into a healthy conversation if it meant that they would get a little insight into what the kids were feeling.

"No, I won't stop." Callie continued, oblivious to what was going on around her. "I won't because you don't know what it's like to be mad at someone and never get the chance to apologize; to make things right and to tell them that you love them." She said to Jude as tears now filled her eyes as the pain she'd been filled with for the last seven years once again consumed her. "You _just_ admitted that everyday Stef walks into danger with the risk of never coming home again and still you can bare to say something so nasty to her? She's already been shot once and she has a high chance of getting cancer. Lena was in a school with a gunman; at home with one too and apart from all of that there are drunk drivers and murderers and diseases and god knows what else that could take them from us tomorrow and you won't even know that the end is coming; you could never even imagine it." By now the girl was once again breathing heavily and shaking and just barely holding it all together.

Stef finally took a step forward and wrapped her arms around the sobbing girl while Lena rubbed a hand up and down both Callie and Jude's arms, offering both of them some comfort.

"They _are_ your moms." Callie finished in a small voice, wiping her eyes thought the tears kept falling. "Don't _ever_ forget that."

The entire room was silent after that as no one said a word. No one was sure of what to say or do. Callie had had her say and was finally satisfied and so with one last gulp of air she headed upstairs to shower, leaving behind her mothers, brother and sister to figure out what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

As Callie let the almost scalding water burn her skin she thought back to the night that her mother, her _first_ mother, went out and never came back home. Callie had been angry over something so silly and so unimportant but still she had refused to even wave to her mother as she left. Just like anyone else, she assumed that she'd have a chance to tell her that she loved her some other time; to give her that hug, that kiss, that smile, the next morning when she woke up in a better mood. But that chance never came and nothing in Callie's power would change that.

She wasn't the perfect child. Even with Stef and Lena she wasn't perfect - far from it actually but through it all she'd always, always been grateful to them, loved them and thought of them as her parents. She'd been so mad at Stef when she arrested AJ; she's been so upset with Lena when she caught her on the bike with Aaron; she'd been terrified when they found out about her and Brandon and thought they might undo her adoption but even through all of that and the countless other things she'd done, she always thought of them as her moms. Even before her adoption, back when she wasn't even sure it would actually happen, back when she would never call them by anything other than their names she secretly considered them her mothers - hoping that someday it would come true. And through all of that drama, all her mistakes and all her bad choices they had loved her just like any normal parent would love their child. No matter how disappointed they had been or how disobedient, difficult or defiant she'd been, they had stood by her and proved to her, time and time again, that their love was eternal.

And they had done the same for Jude. He'd entered their home a sweet, innocent young boy that was too afraid to even invite a friend over for a school project without their permission and then turned into a little monster that believed that he was entitled to do whatever he wanted just because he was now safe and loved. He broke into someone's house, stole liquor, smoked pot, met up with some stranger for the sole purpose of having sex and even treated a boy, not much unlike himself the same way that everyone had treated him before Stef and Lena gave him a real chance and for him to just turn around and say that they weren't really his mothers was not something that Callie could stomach.

Callie knew that Colleen had loved her and she knew that Colleen knew that Callie loved Colleen back, even during their fight, but it still didn't make it any easier to never have the chance to apologize or tell her that she loved her. Stef had admitted to feeling the same way when her father had died. In a way it was a form of closure for the living - knowing that the last memory that someone had of you was pleasant. Callie had made that mistake once and she'd be damned if she just sat back and let Jude make that same mistake without calling him out on it.

By now the water was well past being tepid and Callie could feel the goosebumps forming on her skin. Reluctantly she turned the shower knobs off and grabbed her towel off the rail and wrapped it around herself before unlocking the other two bathroom doors and then headed out to her room, knowing that the moment she opened the door one, or both, of her moms would be waiting patiently to talk to her.

"Hey love." Stef said with a smile from the girl's bed as Callie walked out of the bathroom. "Feel better?" She enquired.

Callie remained silent but nodded as she glanced to the bed beside Stef where her favorite sweatpants and hoodie lay. _Comfort clothes_ came to mind and she glanced back at Stef, realizing that the woman really did pay even closer attention to detail than Callie had originally thought.

"Get dressed, let's talk." Stef said handing Callie the clothes she'd picked for the young girl.

It took Callie a minute or two to put her clothes on and another to towel-dry her hair and when she was done she left the towel draped casually over the back of her desk chair and sat down beside Stef, her eyes focused on the carpet where Mariana had once spilled a drop of purple nail polish that never came out. "I'm not sorry." She said, determined not to apologize to her brother for what she said or did.

"Fair enough." Stef said. She had the power to get upset with the girl, make her apologize even but she didn't have the power to make her _feel_ sorry. "But we don't use violence here." She reminded the girl.

"We also don't say hateful things to each other either." Callie pointed out, still unbelievably disappointed in her bother's choice of words.

"No we don't." Stef agreed. "But sometimes we slip up."

"So do I." Callie answered back. Nothing was going to make her back down from this argument but what she didn't know was that Stef wasn't trying to make her do that. What she was really trying to do was get the girl to talk about her feelings and hopefully get past them.

"So do I." Stef assured. "We all sometimes say things that we don't mean." She added. "The trick is to learn the difference between when something is just said in anger and when it's said with true meaning."

Callie shook her head for no one understood - no one would ever understand - this was the cross she would have to bear forever. "There are some things you just don't say." Callie stated firmly, unwilling to accept Stef's argument. "There are some lines you don't cross." She continued.

Stef watched Callie as the girl fought emotions within herself. She knew exactly what Callie was referring to and she knew that Callie knew it too; this wasn't about figuring out _what_ was bothering her daughter but more about helping her get past it.

"You don't wish that someone who loves you doesn't exist, you don't wish them dead, you don't wish them harm." Callie said vehemently. "You be mad, you fight, you call them names but you just don't dismiss them."

"Is that what you felt?" Stef asked gently as she watched Callie closely. "Is that what you wished about your mom?"

That's when Callie actually began to cry. "I wished I had a different mom." She admitted. "My mom left and I got into bed and I imagined having another mom, a better mom that would let me do things my way. That night I wished she wasn't my mom anymore."

Stef felt like crying herself as she listened to her daughter - her pain was practically palpable and yet there wasn't much that Stef could do for her. It wasn't Stef's place to forgive her and Colleen wasn't here to forgive her though Stef was certain that the woman didn't hold a grudge against her ten year old daughter even if she was alive. The fact was that it was Callie who had to forgive herself and that wasn't an easy thing to do.

"When I first met you I was so scared of you, I wished like hell that I wasn't in a home with a cop." Callie continued, her mind lost in her first days in this house. "It was a good home but I didn't want you around. But when you showed up and helped me get Jude out of that house and something just changed and I cared for you. I kinda liked having you around." She admitted shamelessly.

Stef smiled slightly as she listened to Callie, amused at her choice of words but she didn't say or do anything for the girl needed to go on.

"And then when you got shot, I felt that same knot in my stomach that I felt the morning they told us that our mom was dead. It was that feeling of the worst happening. You weren't even adopting us back then but you were already like my family and I couldn't bear to lose another person I loved."

Callie paused as she shrugged off the eerie feeling creeping over her. She remembered both days so clearly it was almost like they happened just yesterday. She was fortunate though, that Stef had lived through that and everything else that had come her way since. She just hoped that she would continue to be so lucky and live a long, long life.

"Jude knows what it's like to have no mom, no family, no love so how can he possibly say something like that when he finally got a second chance?" Callie asked rhetorically. "How could he ever wish that he didn't have a mom?"

"You know that Jude didn't mean it like that." Stef said, unsure of whether Callie actually knew that or not.

But Callie nodded for she did understand what he meant - she'd meant the same thing seven years ago in the innocent, dreamlike bubble that most children live it. The problem was that Callie's bubble had burst that very night and for the next six years there was no cushion to soften her fall.

"Did you know that sometimes, when you kids do these things it makes us happy?" Stef questioned.

"What things?" Callie asked in confusion. She couldn't see anything in any of these instances that would make Stef or Lena - or any parent really - happy.

"All of this." Stef replied. "Talking back; saying that you hate us; sneaking around."

Callie was staring at Stef, not believing a word of what the older woman was saying - this most certainly was just a tactic to get Callie to feel better.

"I'm serious." Stef smiled as she tucked a strand of Callie's damp hair behind her ear. "These little things that, up front, seem like setbacks and bad behavior are also little signs that things aren't going so bad. The fact that Jude feels that he can say things like he hates us or that we aren't his mom means that he is certain that we will love him in spite of it. If your mom had been alive he would have told her that he wished she wasn't his mom but in this situation it's a little different but the heart of it is the same - he knows that we're going to love him regardless."

"That doesn't mean that it's right." Callie argued. "Just because you love him, just because he _knows_ you love him doesn't give him the right to hurt you."

"Baby it's just anger." Stef explained. "He's fourteen, he's trying to assert his independence and we are forcing boundaries on him. He is just behaving like any other teenager would. I know it may be a little different for you because of the incidents that happened the night your mother died but sweetheart, you are the exception, not Jude. He was so young when your mother died he probably hardly remembers her and what life was like. All he remembers are the foster homes so to him, this house is the real deal. This is the place he's safe where he can express himself without fear; where he can say the wrong thing in anger and be forgiven for it."

Callie looked away sadly for she wondered if she'd ever feel the same way that Jude did. Yes, she loved Stef and Lena just as much as she'd loved her mom. Yes, she truly felt like this was her home and knew that no matter what - this was where she belonged. What made her different from all the others was the fact that _she_ refused to forgive herself for her mistakes; _she_ convinced herself that if she said the wrong thing then something bad would happen; _she_ created that divide that no one could cross but the only problem was that _she_ didn't know how to fix it.


	3. Chapter 3

Silence had filled the kitchen for a few minutes until Stef wordlessly headed upstairs after Callie and Mariana followed to shower in the moms' bathroom leaving Lena and Jude alone.

"I'm sorry for what I said." Jude said to Lena in a small voice. "I didn't mean it; I don't even know why I said it."

"Because you were angry." Lena replied with a smile. "You didn't get your way and you were hurt about it so you wanted to hurt us back."

"I just felt like you were being unfair." Jude tried to explain as best he could. "This is an actual job, I'm making money and we're just playing video games. The other stuff is just a little teasing to fill in the boring parts. That's the point of having gaymers. We don't answer personal questions, we don't ask personal questions, it's just verbal teasing. We don't even give out our addresses or any personal information. We're being careful."

"I understand that." Lena assured. "But what you don't understand is that pedofiles know how to get information that you don't even know you've shared." Lena explained. Both she and Stef had dealt with this very problem in their respective work places and neither could properly stress just how important it was to be as cautious as possible. "Little things that you don't even realize that you may share. They already know your first names and sometimes in a bit of teasing you may say something like 'Mr. Foster' and instantly they know your last name. Talking about a school event or a favorite sports team gives them information about where you're from. Sometimes even the words you use can help them figure out where you're from. We call it soda but people in other parts of the country call it pop or coke. It's the same with suckers and lollipops or sneakers and tennis shoes or a couch and sofa."

"I guess I never thought of it like that." Jude answered, somewhat surprised at just how easily someone can be traced even without them sharing obvious details.

"I wouldn't either." Lena replied. "In general, everyday conversation, I don't think about these things. It's only because I work with kids that are so tech-savvy that I have to be aware. But these pedofiles, they look for slip-ups. The best way to stay safe is to not draw their attention. If you show no interest in anything sexual then they have less of a reason to come after you. But talking the way that you do, especially on the internet with no security, it's an invitation for trouble - trouble that we all want to avoid."

"I'm sorry." Jude said, finally truly understanding what his mother was trying to say. He wasn't sure how well it would go with Declan and Taylor since the sexual innuendos and teasing were a big part of their special setup but Jude, for one, was not looking for trouble. "I wasn't tryingto cause trouble."

"I know." Lena smiled at her son. He was growing up so fast but occasionally, the fact that he was still only fourteen and still practically a baby would show despite how much he tried to hide it. "And we weren't trying to hurt you, we're just trying to teach you right from wrong and more than that, we just want you to be safe."

Jude smiled back with a nod. "You think Callie will ever forgive me?" He asked his mother. Callie may have done a million stupid, reckless and even dangerous things but she was still his sister and she had done a lot for him and no matter who was in charge now or how may other people were in their family now, her opinion still mattered.

"Honestly, I don't think it's you she's really mad at to begin with." Lena answered her son.

"It's not?" Jude asked, his hand absentmindedly rubbing his red left cheek. "You sure? Because if she does this when she's not mad then I don't wanna know what she does when she is." He said.

Lena gently brushed her fingers across Jude's cheek and finally sat down at the kitchen island, trying to figure out exactly what they could do for their daughter in order to help her heal. "She was mad at you for what you said but you have a chance to apologize and make things right. She's more mad at herself because she can't do that. She told us that the night your mom died the two of them had a fight?" Lena confirmed of her son. Callie had mentioned the fight and Callie's behavior but she had never told them what the fight was about or any of the details.

"I don't really remember." Jude answered. "I don't remember much of what happened back then. I do remember Callie being totally different after that - she hardly ever smiled, she didn't play, she cried a lot. Our first foster parents took us back to our house to get some of our things and Callie like totally destroyed her room. They were afraid she was violent because of that and had us moved but Callie never hurt anyone; not unless she needed to protect us. Even before, she would fight sometimes but only with the bullies who teased me or any of her friends."

"She's still fighting for other people." Lena said. "Almost everything she does is to make a difference for someone else."

"Mom would get called to school all the time because Callie was bullying the younger kids and Callie would always say that they were bullying me first. Mom used to tease and say that she was like a guardian angel with a mean streak." Jude answered. "She once threw a raw egg at one of the kids who teased me for wanting to play with the doll house in our classroom."

"Your sister definitely has a good heart and she means well but sometimes she really as to stop and think about how she wants to make a change. Running off with a known pimp in order to protect another girl, breaking the law, lying, these aren't acceptable and she has to learn to curb those impulses." Lena explained. It was clear that certain traits in Callie had started back when she was much younger and without the proper guidance she had let them run wild but one thing Lena could clearly see had changed - the girl was much more guarded than she had been before her mother's passing and whether it was the death of Colleen that had started it or the struggles in foster care or even both, Lena wasn't sure.

"Even in foster care we would fight sometimes." Jude continued, sharing whatever it was that he could remember. "A lot more back when we first entered the system but less and less as we learnt that it was basically just the two of us against the world. Mostly it was because I wanted to try on dresses and jewelry and sometimes because she would be stubborn or argue with our foster parents or foster siblings but she never said things like she wished I'd disappear or that she hated me or anything like that. I guess I never really realized it until today."

"It was hard for her to lose her mother, especially right after fighting with her." Lena explained to her son. "She was old enough to understand the gravity of the situation but nowhere near old enough to deal with the emotions and the consequences." Callie had only been a child back then but unfortunately circumstances had forced her to grow up far too quickly after that and the child in her - the one that still needed the reassurance - was fighting to get out.

"I guess I'm lucky that way." Jude observed. "I was still so little when our mom died so there's less for me to miss."

"There are pros and cons to everything honey." Lena pointed out. "You remember less so it hurt less but on the other hand, Callie remembers more - she can remember your mother in detail, she has memories that she will cherish forever and I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it but what I'm trying to do is show you that nothing is just black and white. It changes with every person and with every situation. Take Mariana and Jesus - they were the same - the same age, the same memories, the same history but it was still a different experience for them. Jesus saw Ana as someone who couldn't be depended on but instead needed help while Mariana constantly saw someone who abandoned her; who didn't think she was enough to give up drugs for. Jesus took on the role of protector but Mariana still needed to be protected. Even now, almost every step of the way she needs the reassurance that she's loved despite where she came from but Jesus is so sure of it even with his mistakes and his impulsiveness and now with his TBI he knows, without a doubt, that we love him and that we want him."

"He's like me." Jude nodded, having never once doubted Stef and Lena's love for him. "Callie's like Mariana. She's not clingy like her but she still doesn't think she's worth enough."

"Something like that." Lena nodded. "Very few people have truly believed in Callie and showed her the love that she craved. Your mother was the first of them and when Callie lost her she lost a part of her confidence and self worth as well and I'm not sure if she even realizes it but I think she's afraid that she'll slowly lose the rest of us as well - maybe not in death but in some way or another. And with Stef it's a very real possibility with the job that she has so Callie's more determined than ever not to let history repeat itself.

Jude considered what Lena was telling him and then in a very small voice he asked, "You really think Stef won't come home one day?" He questioned. Of course he knew that theoretically she had a dangerous job but just like with things like riding in a car or swimming in a lake, he just naively believed that bad things only happened to other people that you hear about in the news, not to actual, real people like him but Callie's anger toward him today had made him realize that these things could happen to anybody and even though he couldn't remember the details, they had already happened to him.

"I don't know the answer to that Jude." Lena answered honestly. Over the years she'd come to terms with the fact that Stef had a dangerous job and she'd learned to keep living happily until she actually had reason not to. "But what I do know is that she is very well trained, very good at her job and most of all, she's very determined to come home to us every night, to watch you kids grow up, to grow old with me and to live a long life because of that I know that she does her best everyday."

"Still, it could happen." Jude accepted miserably. "And the only one of us who truly knows and remembers what that feels like is Callie."


	4. Chapter 4

"How?" Callie was asking Stef just as Lena and Jude walked into her room. "How do I stop the guilt and anger?" She couldn't, for the life of her, figure it out for no matter what anyone had told her, no matter how many times she'd apologized to her mother, hoping that wherever she was, that she'd hear her and forgive her, she just couldn't forgive herself.

"I don't know." Stef answered honestly. "Truth is, I've been asking myself that very same question since my dad died." She explained. "We had a real rollercoaster of a relationship. He loved me and I knew it; I loved him and he knew it too but that wasn't enough." She shook her head in regret. "He needed me to be what he believed was right and I needed him to accept me for who I was and that force, the power of our beliefs was far stronger than the love we had for each other."

Everyone was silent as they listened to Stef. The two children were filled with curiosity and the hope of an answer but for Lena it was also the knowledge that as good as this talk was for Callie and even Jude, it was equally important for Stef.

"I didn't even realize it at the time because I was so angry but the fact is that Frank was already trying to make amends. He couldn't change his beliefs any more than I could change mine and for either of us to expect that from the other was asking for too much but he was trying, in his own way, to show that even if he didn't totally approve of me and my life choices, he still loved me and wanted the best for me. When we brought the twins home he was very welcoming and accepting of them. He never once made them feel like they didn't belong which was honestly a huge fear of mine at the time. He was even fairly polite to Lena." She added, glancing to Lena for a moment before looking back at nothing in particular, clearly seeing her past in her head. "It was no secret that he didn't want us together but as a person, I think he actually liked her too." She said with a smile. "Maybe if we had found a way to put aside our differences for a short while then everyone might have even gotten along but both of us were equally stubborn and equally good at holding a grudge that if we were ever in the same room together then we ended up right back at the same old argument. The thing it, at the time, I never realized that despite all that, he still came; he came to Brandon's recitals; he accepted when Lena invited him to join us for dinner with the Rivera's; he paid attention when I told him about our car and he went out and did something about it. Even though we fought, he still kept trying and, I guess, so did I. I bought his groceries because all he ever bought were microwave lunches. I stayed with him the weekend he had severe bronchitis, I hoped he'd show up at our wedding even though I asked him not to come. The fact was that we tried, in whatever way we knew how, we tried."

"But how would my mother know that I'd have tried?" Callie asked miserably once it was clear that Stef was done talking.

"Because she knew you." Stef replied easily. "She knew you since before you were even born and she knew every little detail about you." She knew how reluctant you are to let people close but once you allow them in, you hold on tight. She knew you got angry easily but were just as quick to forgive; how you genuinely feel for those who suffer in some way or another; how you become so passionate about the things you believe in and almost nothing can stop you when you've set your mind to something. She knew that you'd regret your words even as you said them and she knew that after a while you'd realize it too." Stef watched as Callie tried to comprehend what she was telling her. "Honey, she knew this because that's exactly how it had happened a million times before. You just don't remember it in such detail because the outcome hadn't been so devastating or permanent but how many times did you fight with your mother? How many times did you tell her that you hated her or laid in bed wishing for a more lenient one?" She questioned, once again giving Callie a moment to understand before gently smiling at the girl and adding, "and how many times did you two make up and just forgive and forget?"

The answer was a hundred times, _every time_ , Callie realized and in that moment she truly felt like something heavy had actually been lifted off her chest and the result was as plain as day for the other three to see.

"And she was already patching things up." Stef continued as she tucked a lock of hair behind Callie's ear. "That's why she came to say goodnight and give you a kiss. It's why she didn't leave without telling you that she loved you even though you weren't ready to say it back yet. You just didn't notice because that's how it had always happened and you took it for granted." She said and quickly continued before Callie could get the wrong idea. "And you should - every mother hopes that their children know and expect, without a doubt, that their love is forever. It was a pattern Callie and it's the same for every family. Everyone fights, argues, says things they don't really mean, disagrees but then everyone makes up and forgives and forgets and moves on. Unfortunately your mom died that night but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't have played out in exactly the same way had the accident not happened, and she knew that."

"She forgave me." Callie finally said, softly, almost as though she didn't dare to believe it. "Before she left she said that she loved me even though she was so angry with me that night."

"She wanted you to know; to remember; just like mama and I do, that no matter what, our love is unconditional."

"And she knew I'd get over it too?" Callie asked, just for confirmation.

"Without a doubt." Stef assured, trying to help her daughter as best she could.

Callie was silent for a while, just thinking back to all the fights she'd had with her mom, all the times they'd made up like nothing had even happened, the last fight she'd had and then the years she's spent regretting her words and actions. She now understood that her mother knew her far better than she'd thought but now she wondered what exactly her mother had felt while she'd actually said those things. Unfortunately her mom was gone and she wouldn't get those answers but she did have two more moms who could answer it for her and considering just how similar the three women had been when it came to being mothers - she figured that the answers would be the same as well.

"What do you feel?" She finally asked, looking between Stef and Lena. "When we say things like that how do you feel? You said you know we don't really mean it but it has to still hurt." She assumed.

"I suppose on the surface it hurts." Lena admitted honestly. "We get angry too and we get upset as well so hearing that at a time when we are just trying to do the right thing isn't easy."

"I was upset that Jude didn't see that I was just trying to protect him." Stef added, recalling the incident that had started this whole discussion in the first place. "He felt that I was going out of my way just to hurt him and that's the very last thing we would ever do. But underneath it all, if I put aside my own anger and frustration in the situation then I guess I feel lucky that my son is just a normal, healthy, rebellious teenager. I feel satisfied that I was able to provide him with a home that gave him enough to overcome his troubled past and allow him to live as though none of that had ever happened."

"Well, what about me then?" Callie asked curiously for she had never once felt comfortable or safe enough to say something like that. It wasn't because she didn't trust Stef or Lena or she felt like they would harm her but simply because she was too afraid of a repeat of the last time - of saying something that hurtful and then never having a chance to take it back.

Stef smiled affectionately as she looked at the young girl. "You're no different." She assured. "You just don't see it but think about all the things you've done this past year, how many of those would you have done in one of those other foster homes? Would you have pushed Jude to get adopted without you? Would you have left him behind when you ran away? How about being so open and honest with your senior project or fought the foster system the way that you did? Do you think you would have done any of those things had you been in any of your old houses?" She questioned.

"No." Callie said. "I doubt it."

"Why?" Stef questioned, wondering if the girl even realized the bravado for her actions."

"I don't know. My main focus back then was surviving I guess. Not all our homes were bad but none of them were as safe as this one." Callie replied.

"So maybe you could say that we were able to provide you with a home where you could also just be a kid - run away from home, fight with your siblings, take your first steps towards making a change in the world?" Stef asked with a smirk.

"I guess." Callie replied, her cheeks reddening slightly as she realized all the trouble she'd caused without even meant to. "I never thought of it like that because it's still so different from everyone else's drama."

"Honey drama is different for everyone." Lena said, taking the opportunity to get involved in the conversation. "How many kids suffer a TBI and have to literally reteach their brain to do the most basic of things? How many kids are so unbelievably talented at something to the point of having almost every door open to them and then on top of all that to have it almost taken away because of a fight? Baby, Mariana had to deal with a gun and a suicidal boyfriend, Jude lost his mother so young he can barely even remember her and his entire childhood memories are only of being shuffled from home to home and the twins had a mom that chose drugs over them." She said, trying to show the girl that nothing was the same for anyone. "Even if you take kids whose lives are seemingly normal you'll find that they also have struggles. Take Emma - she comes from a home of no divorce, no struggles in their relationship and still she found herself pregnant with a boyfriend who could barely even remember his own name. She had no idea what would happen and she had to deal with all that by herself. Sofia comes from a normal family." She continued. "She had everything a girl could imagine but even she was suffering from depression."

"Lexi's parents literally wanted to ship her to another country just to keep her from having a boyfriend." Stef added dramatically. "I mean common, talk about going overboard."

Callie, Lena and Jude all smiled as Lena shook her head at her wife - the woman loved to joke when things got too serious but the truth was that she always brought a smile when one was needed.

"Everyone has drama and everyone's drama is different." Lena finished. "You don't do the things that you do because of your past - that is who you are. If not then every foster kid would be in the back of a pimps van right now. You do it because that's who you are - the only thing that your past has done is help you choose which cause to fight for. Callie if you had been colored or gay or differently abled in some way then you would have fought more for one of those causes. I know that you would do it now as well but your passion right now lies with the foster kids and kids who have no family because you can relate but the passion and determination with which you fight is all inside you and has been there long before your mother died."

"You, my love, are destined for greatness and don't you ever forget that." Stef said lovingly. "You just have to remember to fight the right way and live long enough to actually do some good." She added remembering the car ride back home.

"My mom knew I'd be like this?" Callie concluded from everything that her moms had just told her.

"Pretty much." Stef laughed teasingly. "I bet she had gray hair just thinking about it."

"I think she did too." Jude said for the first time causing everyone to look at him, waiting for an explanation. "Remember how scared I was to start at the elementary school after I was in daycare?" He questioned his sister and waited for a nod.

"Yeah. You'd been in daycare from before you knew how to be scared." Callie replied.

"I was scared and you kept telling me it would be okay and what to expect." Jude reminded her. "But mom was the one who really made me feel better." On the surface his words seemed like a jab at Callie but he soon continued. "She said that you'd be there too and nothing could possibly happen to me with you around and she was right. We didn't know it then, not even her I guess, but you've never let anything happen to me Callie, you have always been there for me and protected me and mom obviously knew that about you."

Callie smiled, liking that image. "Thank you." she said, so grateful for his words for although Stef and Lena meant well and were obviously right about what they were saying - Jude was the only one who actually knew Colleen and believed she felt the same way.

"You know I'm not really much of a heaven and hell person but I think it doesn't hurt to believe that the people we love and have lost are somewhere out there watching over us, maybe guiding us." Stef said.

"Maybe she led you to us?" Lena finished the thought. "Maybe she guided you thought it all to make sure you got out okay in the end. Maybe we're wrong and I guess we'll never know for sure but maybe it's enough to give us, those that are still living, peace of mind and contentment.

"I like that." Callie said smiling. "The thought of her looking down on us."

"She wound't have been too happy with me then." Jude piped up as he glanced to Stef. "I'm sorry for what I said."

"I know baby." Stef assured. "I'm sorry too. I know you didn't realize what you were doing but I was angry only because I've seen bad things happen and I'm sure sometimes I'm more paranoid than most but I've seen the worst and I can't bare to lose you or see you hurt even if it means being the bad guy sometimes."

"I won't do it anymore." Jude promised. "I mean, I get what you're saying and I don't think it's as dangerous as you think with the way we do it but I don't want you to worry unnecessarily. I want you to be as happy as you've made me."

"You two bring more joy to us than you can imagine." Stef said as she grabbed Jude and pulled him down on her lap, giving him a tight squeeze even though he was probably too old and slightly too big for such things. "And no matter what you say or how much trouble you cause, we love, love, love you." She assured, squeezing tighter with each _love_.

Lena smiled and went to sit beside Callie and hug her too. "Moms right." She stated. "Just remember that its not permission to do whatever you want whenever you want it." She said warningly.

"Promise." Callie and Jude both said as their moms wrapped them up in a giant hug. "We love you guys too." They said, so grateful for the love that these two women had shared with a pair of random kids that just showed up one day.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

I've had this idea for a long time but never got around to writing it but the argument that Stef and Jude had seemed like the perfect opportunity to get it down in words.

One thing that bugs me is that Lena always takes a back seat when things get tough. She admitted to not liking confrontation but as a parent she just doesn't seem to do enough. Even in the promo (and I agree we just saw a bit of it) she says nothing except reprimands Stef who is actually being a parent.

Thanks for all the reads and reviews. I know my posts are really slow but I just don't have a lot of time to write anymore. I write when I can and when I have something worth writing so while I'll still be posting, I can't promise when.

Thanks again.

Love Junebug.


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